Letters from the MTC

Here are some excerpts Camille's last two letters home:

2/28/13

Can you believe I've been gone for 3 weeks?! These past weeks have felt so long and so fast at the same time. I can't believe how much I've already experienced and learned. And I'm excited to get to Texas but I'm OK spending more time here. I just have SO much left to learn it's ridiculous.

It has been so neat to see and feel the Spirit helping us with out lessons. It's impossible to know exactly what a person needs; they're just too complicated for that. But God knows. And only, ONLY, through the Spirit can we be confident that we can ever help them.

It has also been great to see my Spanish improve. Our district has really been working hard on our HSI (hablar su idioma--speak your language) goals. We're supposed to speak in Spanish absolutely as much as we can, to only use English if we don't know the Spanish word. Hna C and I have been working especially hard at it this past week. And we've really been improving! In our lesson with Antonio I was really surprised at my ability to just speak, to not have to stop and think in between every word. I still had a bit of a hard time understanding Antonio, but I could speak fairly easily. It really is a miracle. I still have so far to go but I'm beginning to see how this might be possible. :)

I've been having kind of a hard time adjusting to never being alone. I'm more of a personal person and I miss having time to myself. In normal life when I get frustrated or stressed I just go and sit by myself for a while. But here I have to always be with my companion and, even though I really couldn't ask for a better one, it's been hard. Let's just say I'm grateful for an extremely patient companion. I'm getting better though, I think!

3/7/13

This week has been a period of huge growth for me. As a missionary we are all acutely aware of our dependence on the Spirit. It can be really scary if you're doubting your ability to receive direction from the Spirit. But this week--from some incredible Sunday and Devotional talks and from personal experience--I've come to realize that the blessings that come from the temple and from being a missionary really do apply to ME. And it's not something I need to worry about. Before in lessons I would just be searching my mind for anything that could be perceived as direction, and I think I often over-looked it. I have learned that the Spirit doesn't always hit you in the face. Sometimes you don't even know that what you did came from a prompting until later, and sometimes you never know it. But if we just open our mouths, if we just act, God will help us. If we are being good, if we are keeping the commandments and sincerely trying to better ourselves, we never need to worry. Now when I teach, I just teach. I listen to the investigator and my companion and I don't think too hard. Sometimes I open my mouth without completely knowing what will come out of it, but it always ends up ok. It's a much more comfortable--and surely a much more effective--way of teaching.

Ok. Now I want to talk to my girlfriends (if any of you even read this...I bet you have all already forgotten my first name. I know I have.) who are struggling to decide if a mission is right for them. I think all of you believe that Heavenly Father has a plan for you, and you're just trying to figure out what that plan is. I know that's true and that whatever He has planned for you is perfect for you.  But let me make a suggestion: don't sit around waiting for the answer to hit you in the face. It might, but it probably won't. You have probably already been prompted and directed more than you realize (D&C 6:14). Pray for guidance, live righteously, and MAKE A DECISION based on what YOU want to do (D&C 4:3). If it's wrong, He will stop you! If you're being righteous and have a sincere desire to follow Him, you have nothing to worry about. You WILL receive guidance from the Spirit. I know that, for me, I never got that slap of realization to the face. But I know that this is the right decision for me. I look around at my life and I know that I've received guidance.

Unless Heavenly Father has another plan for you, I really don't think you can go wrong with serving a mission. I've only been out a month but I wouldn't trade the experience I've already had for anything. It has been the hardest, most stretching, most demanding, and most rewarding month of my life.

But that's me. Do what's best for you. But DO something. The Spirit can't lead us if we're not moving. If you take the first step of faith, you will receive the guidance you need.