Mi Padre Celestial Me Ama

Mi Familia!

First of all, thank you everyone for your tender notes today. Really, they all were exactly what I needed. This week was really, really hard. I finally hit the point where I legitimately didn't want to be a missionary anymore (don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. ;) ). I just have been piling all the responsibility on myself like I'm known to do and really forgetting why I'm here. I've been so, so scared of making wrong decisions or not being able to teach/love M'hija like I should especially with the language barrier...plus our investigators are kind of disappearing. We haven't seen heard from Abacu for more than a week. And I've just felt so lonely. I miss the way things used to be with Hermana King. 

I know, I'm such a baby! And I kept thinking, doesn't God know that? Doesn't He know that i can't handle things like this? Why is He letting me be so, so heartbroken and stressed and worried right now? Every morning I woke up with a sinking feeling in my heart because I was worried about how the day would go. I know, I know, it's stupid. But this week was a serious trial for me, probably the biggest of my mission. 

Yesterday when I was taking the sacrament I really thought hard about renewing my covenants. Part of me--a bigger part than I want to admit--wanted to take it back, wanted to unconsecrate my life to God. Because when you give your life to God it means you have to go through the refiner's fire. I sat there and thought about it for a while. Finally, I made a decision. I said in my mind, "Ok, Heavenly Father. I'm giving my life to you again. Do what you want with it."

It's so easy to say you'll give your life to God when things are easy. It took so much faith yesterday. But I meant it. I really did. I love Him and I just want to serve Him. And I trust Him. As I keep my end of my covenants, He will, too. I have felt so many times in my life, especially since going to the temple, that He is blessing me far beyond what I deserve. I know I'll feel that way again. And even in the times where I'm at rock bottom, I know I'm only going through it so I can be happy.

Last night we had the first world-wide missionary broadcast. Oh my goodness, I ate it up. First of all, we were told that we are going to start using more Internet sources like email, Facebook, and Twitter (what are those, again?) to contact people and teach lessons. They're trying to move us away from having to knock doors to find people since that really isn't effective in this day and age. This was great to hear because I really, really hate knocking doors, as do all missionaries. 

But what really got me was how everyone kept talking about how involved God is in missionary work. I was taken back to the beginning of my mission when I was so excited to be doing this work. I realized then how big of a deal it is and how great of an honor and blessing it is to be a part of it. All the speakers kept reminding us that God is with us. He is in this work. He only asks for our best effort and He will make up the rest. It is literally impossible to do this on our own, as I have learned this week. But we're not alone! We are not alone! This is His work and His children and He will help us. 

This morning I read about the Jesus feeding the 5000. Missionary work is just like that. There are so many people to help and I just feel like I have so little to offer. And that's true. I'm pretty weak. But Christ isn't. And He will multiply my efforts until everyone is fed, and the baskets will still be overflowing. 

My faith, hope, and patience have been seriously tried this week. But that's good because those attributes are pretty important as a missionary. I still have a long ways to go but I'm feeling better. I'm determined to make this transfer a good experience and to show M'hija how great missionary work is! 

I love you all so much. Keep making good decisions and doing what Heavenly Father wants you to do. Be a member missionary, pray and read together, and remember how awesome you are. I know this church is true. I know God loves all His children and everything He does is for our good.

Mucho amor,

Hermana Lund

Letter to the Young Women

We asked the missionaries in our ward to write a letter to our young women to be read at Girls Camp. Here is Camille's letter to the YW:

Shadow Ridge Young Women, Que pasa?!

Wow, can I just say, mission life is the best. It feels like every single day my companion and I are just filled to the brim with excitement and joy to be doing what we're doing. So many of the people we teach have really hard lives and we know that what we have is exactly what they need. It's great to see the gospel touch their lives.

Are any of you thinking about serving a mission? I hope so! I could not be happier with my decision to serve. I know that there's nothing more important than sharing the gospel. As members of the church, this is our duty! God trusts us to do it. And the blessings He pours out on my life as I serve are incredible. 

I would be so happy if all of you got to serve missions. But sometimes that just isn't in our plan. And that's ok! But I testify that God has a plan for each one of His children. He NEEDS the help of every single one of us in these last days to prepare the world for the Second Coming. If it isn't right for you to serve a mission, I promise that there's something else He needs you to do to spread the gospel. It may be in your own families, in your wards and neighborhoods at home, at work, who knows. But always remember that YOU can be an instrument in God's hands and He will work miracles through you as you give your lives over to Him. And the blessings you will receive from it will blow your mind. :)

Always remember the impact you have on others. Stand as a witness of God at all times, in all things and in all places. He needs you to do this. I testify that God loves you. Christ is your Savior. This is God's church and as we follow it's teachings, we can find peace and joy in this life and enjoy eternal life forever with God and our families. The Book of Mormon is true. Read it everyday! And never, ever forget to pray. There is serious power that comes when you continuously pray to God in faith.

I love you all! Enjoy Girls' Camp and go change the world!

Mucho amor,

Hermana Lund

Doubt and Fear are Opposed to Faith

Mi Familia!

First of all, happy Father's Day to Dad and both my great grandpas! I hope you had a great day, and I love you all!

So, this week has been HARD. Like, really hard. You want me to be honest right? My new companion is Hermana Rodriguez. She's great and I love her. :) She's not afraid to talk to people and she's great at teaching already. She's a great missionary. (And she's even shorter than Hermana King, just a sidenote. :)) We really get along I know we'll be good friends. 

The hard thing is that she doesn't speak almost any English. She's from El Salvador but her family is living in Houston right now. Because she's undocumented she has to serve in Texas. She didn't go to the MTC but she got some MTC-like training over Skype. The language barrier has been really, really hard. We try to talk in English in the apartment and Spanish outside, but she never speaks to me in English and I end up translating about everything into Spanish. There is so much to explain and teach and I have literally felt my brain stretching as I've tried to do it all in Spanish.

I mean, first of all, I'm super stressed just being the senior companion. I'm having a hard time knowing what we should be doing every day and who we should visit if our plans fall through. (It doesn't help that we are WAY short on miles, so we have to be super picky about where we go.) Not having Hermana King to work with has been hard enough. And then having to train Hermana Rodriguez and explain who everyone is and what their story is and what we're doing next and why and everything else in Spanish has brought me about to my breaking point. And I can't believe how much I miss Hermana King! It's so unlike me, goodbyes usually aren't too bad for me. But I miss her so much it hurts! I just feel like the rug has been pulled right out from under me. Everything was going so well and now I feel like I'm dangling by a thread. 

Yesterday I asked Elders Peterson and Ferry from our district to give me a blessing. Man, was it powerful. The minute Elder Ferry started to speak the Spirit just poured into my heart. He said exactly what I needed to say and it has helped a lot. I'm still incredibly overwhelmed but it's getting better. I'm really working on keeping my doubts and fears out of God's way. And I'm trying to remember that this is His work, after all, and that He won't let me mess it up. 

And I have to admit, the gift of tongues is real. I still have a hard time understanding other people, but I can almost always understand Hermana Rodriguez and my ability to explain things has been far better than it should be. It's definitely really hard but I've been able to make it through so far! I know that there's nowhere to go from here but up. I'm just pushing though until the sun comes again. I've been trying hard to take the focus off of myself and put it on Hermana Rodriguez and the people we teach. Because, you know, this isn't about me.

Our investigators are doing well. Robert finally came to church yesterday! And I'm pretty sure Carlos got the priesthood yesterday! We are kind of still teaching him because they haven't assigned anyone to give him the new member lessons yet. I need to make sure that happens. 

Don't worry too much about me, I'll be ok. But please, please pray for me really hard. :) I could use it. 

I love you all. I know God loves all His children and He knows how they feel. He wants us to be happy and He wants us back with Him. Everything that happens to us in this life is to help that happen. I know with all my heart that this gospel is true, and that it's the only thing that matter. And I know I say it every week, but don't forget to pray and read the scriptures every day! Do it as a family and do it alone. Have FHE and go to church. I know that these basic things are vital for Heavenly Father to be able to reach us and help us. 

Have a great week! Mucho amor a todos!

Hermana Lund

Camille with Abacu

Camille and Hermana King with Carlos and family

Camille and Hermana King at the San Antonio Temple

Saying Goodbye

Camille with Hermana Rodriguez

Guiame, oh Salvador

Mi Familia!

So! Yesterday was really exciting! Do you want to hear about Carlos' baptism or transfers first? We'll start with transfers. Hermana King is being transferred, opening a new area, and training! She is excited but nervous. And she's praying to stay Spanish-speaking. It's hard not knowing even that kind of a detail. Anyway, she will do just great. I'm really sad to be losing her but I'm excited for her, too.

I'm staying here (YAY!!!) and I'm training! I don't really know what to think. I think I knew it was coming, but I'm still really surprised because, you know, I don't speak Spanish. Ok, that's not true, but sometimes it really seems like it. I had convinced myself that if I was going to train this next transfer it would be in and English area. But apparently Heavenly Father thinks He's really funny. 

I'm really a lot more calm than I feel like I should be. I think it's because I know it's going to be ok. You know how sometimes you can know something is true, but believing it is a little trickier? Like, deep down you know God's going to help you but then you get into a tough situation and, even though you still know He will, you kind of don't believe it? I think that's how it's going to be. Right now I'm calm because I know God will help me; He's not going to set me up for failure. But I think when I get there and I'm making the calls and having to say "otra vez" and "mas dispacio, por favor" over and over to everyone and I'm worrying about teaching a fresh newbie how to do things I haven't even figured out yet that it's going to be hard to believe God will help me. I'm going to have to remember the calm feelings I have now and remind myself of the things I know. I know God loves me and he loves the people here in Riverside. I know this is His work and He cares about it. I know He will help me do everything that is required of me. I know it will be ok! :) But pray for me, of course. I'm going to need it. 

Carlos is BAPTIZED!!! I am so, so, so, so happy!! I'm just feeling the purest kind of joy. :) Everything ended up going smoothly even though the day started out pretty rocky. There's just so much that goes into planning for a baptism and we still had so much to do yesterday. And it didn't help that our ward mission leader doesn't quite have a grasp on what his calling includes..we didn't get almost any help from him. And all throughout church while we were trying to get the baptism stuff figured out people kept asking us to do everything and our appointments for the day were falling through and just...everything. But. The baptism went perfectly. Lots of people were there to support him, the talks were great, my song went fine (rocky but okay), everything went great.  Carlos even got to be confirmed right then, which was a surprise because we had thought we'd have to wait until the next Sunday in sacrament meeting (Hermana King was especially happy he was confirmed right then after we got transfer calls). 

The greatest part is that I know this is just the beginning for Carlos. He is so solid and he's going to keep progressing. I keep thinking of the scripture I put on my plaque, Alma 36:24. Carlos is feeling the same joy I feel from being a member of this church and knowing what I know. He now gets to enjoy the Holy Ghost constantly like I have been able to. How great is that?! I'm so happy.  So happy.

I know that the message we testify of day after day, hour after hour, is true. I know it! The closing hymn last night was "I Know the My Redeemer Lives." I was leading so I could see Hermano Carr and Elder Bala in the back getting really into it, singing "Yo SE que vive mi Senor!" It made me so happy as I thought about how great it is to be able to say that with such force. I KNOW that my Redeemer lives! And so does Carlos!

Love you all! Have a fabulous week! Cuidense mucho!

Mucho amor, 

Hermana Lund

Carlos, his aunt, Olga, Hermana King, Camille (getting around the mission rule of no hugging boys)

Carlos's baptism day

Carlos with his aunt and uncle, Hermana Lund and King