Mi Familia,
Can you believe how quickly time is passing? I feel like this transfer I've really been able to sink into being here, to not think about home or anything and just be here. It doesn't hurt that I have the best companion ever! It feels like my transfer with Hermana King again--I hate how quickly the transfer is going because there's a chance we won't be together after it ends! I hope we'll at least be together for another one. Sister Arche is seriously incredible.
This week I ate a scorpion chili pepper! (Did you get the video? The member we were with was going to e-mail it to you.) I only ate a tiny bit and it was dried so it was less awful than it would have been had it been fresh, but it's supposedly the hottest chili in the world and it was TERRIBLE! The Martinez family always initiate the new missionaries by having them chew a ghost pepper for 20 seconds before swallowing it, but I was the first missionary to ever try the scorpion chili pepper. My mouth and throat were completely on fire. I downed 2 huge glasses of milk and an ice cream sandwich afterwards. Haha, it was great.
The work is still going slow. But we had another lesson with Shannon, a man who went to one of his Mormon friends to because he wanted what he had. He's doing really well, but we're pretty sure he's on parole so he can't get baptized any time soon. He committed to go to church this week but he didn't. Seriously, I think I'm cursed. He texted us afterwards to say that he was really sick and to see when we could set up another appointment to come by. That's a good sign, right? Haha, he said that it's a good thing he didn't commit to come last week because he ended up spending the weekend in jail because one of his business partners signed some checks he shouldn't have or couldn't or something. But he told us that he was abnormally calm through it all. He said that he recognizes that since he talked to his friend and started visiting with us he's been so much calmer and more peaceful. He's really searching.
We haven't been able to meet with the Louis family again and they haven't come to church. We think the mom might be a slight problem. Sigh. It is SO HARD to work hard when there's nothing to do. It reminds me of soccer in high school. When we played Bonneville or Logan or a good team like that, I always played my best game. But when we played Grantsville, even though we'd win like 15-0 I would be playing HORRIBLY. It's just so hard to do your best when there's nothing to push against. It's easy to work hard when you're busy. Like Hermana King and me in Riverside. But it's those moments when there's nothing you have to do that require the most dedication and self-motivation to do what you should do. It's kind of cool: I feel like I'm a hard-working, dedicated person but Heavenly Father is allowing me the opportunity to take it to the next level. Although I'd still rather be busy and baptizing like crazy. I'm praying that will come..
Yesterday in church I was thinking hard about the Atonement. This girl shared a poem in her talk about how the Atonement is like us building a ladder to get out of a dark hole, but our ladder won't reach so the Savior throws down a rope. Which is great, but I don't think it's completely accurate. I've been thinking a lot lately about how I'm just never doing enough. I'm just not. Just being Camille, I want to be doing so much more! My heart is hungry to be doing more. But I've felt like I don't have the capacity or the tools to do what I want to do, and it was really bugging me. I felt like I'll never become the missionary I want to be because I'm never doing all that I can do, all that is required to receive the help from the Atonement that I need.
But I realized something that I realized months ago, but had somehow forgotten. The Atonement doesn't help us after we put in our best effort. It helps us put in our best effort! His strength, His love, His courage...it all permeates everything we ever do if we let it. Through Him, and only through Him, will we even be able to put in the effort we need to to become perfect. What an incredible gift He gave us!! There's never that moment when we can say, "Ok, I've done all I can do, now take over, please." We are to say, "Help me try harder today. Help me love deeper and be selfless. Help me forgive. Help me become more like Thee!" So that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to believe He can help me, to believe I need His help, and to accept His help in everything I do.
I love you all! Have a great week. I so excited to talk to you on Christmas!!
Mucho amor,
Hermana Lund
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